Getting back out there

Goodness, it's been a while!

I am on track with my current walking challenge, which is raising funds for the 4 women diagnosed everyday with Ovarian Cancer.  I pledged to walk 2 km per day for November and, although there has been some missed days and catching up, I am where I should be.

I've created my own challenge for next month after reaching out to a heartbroken friend and daughter who is losing her Mum to cancer.  It's going to help her family have a wonderful Christmas AND it's going to keep me walking.

BUT... what I actually want to talk about tonight is putting myself back out there on the dating scene and all of the feelings that go with that.

Although they're not for everyone, I use the dating app Plenty of Fish.

There are a few ways you can view people on this.  You can go to (I think) the meet me part, where you swipe left for no and right for yes.  

The thing with this is, it's supposed to be a reaction from just a photo. We are all so judgy just looking at a photo.  The things I say out loud to myself! Especially, "go put a shirt on".  So, my "no"s are instant but if I think someone looks ok then I still go in to check out where they're from, how old they are and how tall they are. I like older and taller men, so shoot me.

Then, I read their "about me" section.  If it's not too creepy and I can relate, well then I consider hitting like.  Some of them can't see likes and so ask you to message if you like them, so then it's a whole new thought about whether I like them enough to do that, to put myself out there with the high chance I'll be ignored.  Unfortunately, manners go out the window.  There is no, "thanks for the message but you're not quite what I'm look for", there's nothing. 

Back up a little bit, there's an even more in depth process in this. If someone is quite good looking, I then debate with myself if I should hit like or not because there's no way they'd look at me.  I'm not being negative, just realistic.  They only look at a photo and I'm a big girl, they don't know how great I am in person! So... usually I swipe no, even though I think they are gorgeous.

Oh, and you think girls use filters too much!  And the gym photos with the guns out........

But wait there's more! So, you get a notification that someone likes you.  You have a look at their profile and you think, "yeah, you're alright", but they are one of the people that can't see likes and so you need to message them.  So you do.  And they read and delete your message...... YOU JUST LIKED ME!!!!!

The flip side is, the only people that message you first start the conversation with - "Hello beautiful" or something similar.  Yep, you guessed it, they are the scammers.  I like to play with them.  One guy asked where I was from, and he was listed as being in my town, so I said, "the same place as you".  He said he had only been here a few weeks and so I asked where he was before that.  His reply was, "I used to live in Belgium before moving to Massachusetts" and I replied, "I think you're getting your fake profiles mixed up".  So, they are fun.

The only other people who have messaged me first so far have been in relationships - arseholes.

What I need to remember is, these people don't know me and likely never will. I don't need to be worried about whether they will like me back, or the fact that they've deleted my message or changed their mind about liking me.  They are not real until I actually meet them and I'm not in a hurry.  I just need to calm my farm.

HUGS xxx